Don’t Stop Believing

It’s been a very long time since I’ve been single. Spent a whole year stuck on love, then I created a very strong shield to protect myself from getting hurt again. The days passed by, and I kept my walls built up so high.

I used to believe in true love, where everything is romantic, where your story is a fairytale and where all you can see around you is magic. But that’s when I was younger, and blind with the idea of love.

Since I was young and wreckless, I didn’t think of what would happen when I’m with someone. Unfortunately, the thing I’ve had with the one who I thought I loved, wasn’t love. That screwed me over big time.

I am convinced, since forever, that happiness comes within yourself and doesn’t depend on a lover. The difference this time is, that I don’t believe in spontaneous love anymore.

I’ve met a bunch of people who I felt attracted to, but my heart always said no, along with my insecurities. I tried to put myself out there but it wasn’t what I thought it would be.

Then I realized, why would I stop believing, if what I had before failed? Failure is a sign of success. I also happen to know someone who fell in love in the craziest way possible, so I guess anything can happen in this world.

Being single isn’t a bad thing at all, it helps you focus on yourself, be a better, and a much stronger person. Also, being in a relationship isn’t bad at all either, as long as the relationship isn’t toxic.

In our Century, falling in love spontaneously or at first sight is unlikely or rather rare, but it is the perfect romantic story. But what I do believe in right now, is that Love exists, for everyone, the only thing is, it’s different for each one of us and that what makes it beautiful.

What is The Sky Trying to Say?

So he walked, and climbed until he found the biggest empty spot. It was rocky, on top of a hill, and all he could hear was the sound of the wind. It gently brushed his silky black hair, but made his body shiver and his mind stray.

He looked above, at the sparkling sky, took his finger and drew a line. He was mesmerized by the shining stars, telling a story with every line. He drew a shape, then he craved, he did it again, he was amazed.

“What is the sky trying to say? I can’t read nor recognise the shape. ”

Suddenly he felt a sting in his arm, it was loose and completely numb. He slapped it, stung it, and gave it a tug, but nothing seemed to wake it up.

Until he looked in front of him.

A layer of clouds covering the alleys, and a set of lights bursting from under. A mix of colors brushing the clouds, giving the boy a wave of pride.

He forgot about the pain, even though it didn’t go away. So he just lied above the clouds, drawing some more into the sky.

With a smile on his face, he understood what the sky was trying to say.

The Anchor

I tried to forget, I tried to be nonchalant, but I failed. I couldn’t get used to it, and the more I tried the more I failed.

I thought anchors are supposed to be good, I’ve always wanted someone to always be with me, I’ve always wanted someone to hold on to. But it wasn’t the good kind of anchors.

It was holding me back, tying me up, suffocating me. I couldn’t breathe, and all the colors I was seeing disappeared.

My lips, they were trying to say something, no sound was coming out though, and I couldn’t even figure out what was I saying, it felt like I was blacking out.

I saw something in that dim space, but I couldn’t quite make it out. But then I saw it, I saw my anchor, in front of me, on my left, on my right, behind me…. everywhere.

It felt like I was trapped in time, and no one could save me.

I was mortified, I wanted to run but I couldn’t, my brain lost control of its’ organs, it’s like my whole system had crashed and there was no way to reboot it.

My dream is awaiting but I couldn’t seem to get there no matter how hard I tried, I never wanted to be the ship that never sailed, but I’ll never top trying.

One day I’ll get rid of that anchor.

 

SHe

She’s always felt like she was born in the wrong body, but never dared to tell anyone. Her parents would kick her out of the house, so she kept her mouth shut because she needed protection. Until she realized, one day, that she doesn’t deserve this kind of unfair life she’s living, she would rather hustle all her life then to be around someone who doesn’t accept her and force her to be someone that she’s not.

She left her home, and her parents let her. The streets were her home now, she beared the cold, she beared the dark and the wolves. She ate from the garbage to stand on her feet, but she never surrendered. She wanted to prove to the filthy community the badass man she is, she wanted to prove to herself that she deserves a better life, and most of all that she deserves to be free.

She never wore girly clothes, she always tucks her boobs so she looks like man. Everyone bullied her, shamed and insulted her. Every night she goes to bed, she would sleep with tears in her eyes, because of them and because of the thought that she cannot be the man she wanted to be. But when the sun comes up, she gets up stronger than the day before, walks out the door and fights to be free.

She finally changed, she finally got what she wanted, she finally looks like a man, and the “She” is now a “He.” He was the happiest, he felt free, he felt fully comfortable with his own skin. He was always a man at heart, but now his outside matches his feelings.

They never stopped the shaming once they knew, but he learned to fight for what he believed in, he learned to be happy, and he learned to only let the right people into his life. He’s on the top of the world and no one can take away his freedom now. And with this act of bravery, he saved his life and saved a lot of little boys and girls from living his horrid childhood.

 

To Good To Be True

He’s the one that came into my life that easy, and disappeared out of it easier.

He looked into my eyes and didn’t say a thing, but I felt every word in his heart that his mouth couldn’t say.

He layed in my arms, his eyes closed, he looked as peaceful as a baby in his sleep. His hand holding mine, squeezing hard to let me know he’s awake.

The silence didn’t bother me, it was the good kind of silence. His heartbeats, his breath, his touch, were all I needed to connect with him with no words.

I felt a whole new kind of calmness, a whole new kind of happiness. But it never was love.

I had those feelings, the ones that make you feel light and high, but I hid them away, I tried to be the big boy and save myself the heartbreak. But my heart kept beating as if to free it.

I couldn’t, there was a voice in my head that kept saying “Don’t, you’ll end up heartbroken”

It wasn’t wrong. The moment came and he disappeared into thin air, as easy as it sounds. I was left in the middle of nowhere, all the green turned to black.

It was too good to be true.

 

My New Obsession

Okay, okay so I’m gonna share with you  my newest obsession. it’s been going on for the 3 days now and I think it’s gonna follow for the next couple of weeks, maybe more I don’t even know.

So I’m not sure if any of you knows Michael J. Willet, BUT he’s one of my favorite gay artists out there. I’ve known him since he acted in the “GBF” movie, loved him even more in “Faking it” (which also premiered yesterday) as Shane Harvey the sassy gay guy, and of course by his music which is so effin adorable.

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He recently was working on an album called “Regeneration” and he dropped “Phase I” yesterday, BUT I subscribed to his website to get the album a day earlier. AND I’VE NEVER MADE A BETTER DECISION IN MY LIFE.

The songs are so much fun, the lyrics are meaningful and the music is dynamic. To be honest I’m not a big fan of calm and soothing songs, unless I’m in a bad mood, so that’s why I was excited even more when I heard them, and that’s how the album became my newest obsession, it’s been on repeat ever since it dropped.

“Feed The Monster” is my favorite song of the album, because it’s the most dynamic song, I also liked it best because I think everyone, and I mean EVERYONE relates to it. It’s about needing love and attention and not being apologetic about it or ashamed of it.

You don’t want to see me jamming over this at home, my parents are literally shouting at me to lower the music volume down, but that ain’t happenin folks, sorry not sorry.

Anyway, you can go to his website and join the regeneration www.misterwillett.com

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna try to finish my uni work, been procrastinating since forever haha. Wishing you a happy hump day and a great week!

oh oh oh, like, comment, share and subscribe to my blog below, would love to know what you think about this, and follow me on twitter @anicorn_blog. XOX.

 

The Magic in Him

He’s the little boy whose life depends on a pencil and a piece of paper. He wasn’t the kind to pour his heart out to the world, he was the one to pour his heart on the paper.

Random strokes, random splatters were the magic that described him the most. He despised the real world, but created his own with a brush.

Raging storms, and cloudy skies were his peace of mind. He would look outside the window every time lightnings hit the sky.

But he was never dark inside, his heart was originally made of candy, dipped in glitter. Now it’s half sweet half stone.

He was brought to his knees too many times, but he kept going. Scars formed on his body. Each one of them telling its’ own story.

He witnessed the injustice brought by the world, all those shattered dreams, those broken hearts, and stolen rights.

He thought of the magic he’s got in him, and learned to fight with it.

The best revenge is the change.

He’s not the little boy anymore, the innocence in his eyes had disappeared. He wished to stay pure, but that will never be.